i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
