it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
