Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
