I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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