Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
