hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
