Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
