what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
