marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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