I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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