So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
