Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
