We got so high we made milksteak
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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