who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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