I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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