Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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