I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
