Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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