they need to just BURY HIM!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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