I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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