Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
