Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How's work?
Spinning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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