We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I want is dick and wine.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
