Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
