Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
