how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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