i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My balls are so social today.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
only you would photoshop your dick
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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