walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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