she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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