Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
