Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
