if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
