I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
