Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
