will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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