Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
