So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
