I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
