Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
