My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
