I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
