just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
