Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize