Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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