forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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