I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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