it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
