my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Are we still banned from the library?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
