Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
