it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
