i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
MIDGETS
????
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
