I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
