He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
