My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
