did you get engaged???
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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