Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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